My desperate attempt to reclaim the porcelain throne.
Published on April 21, 2004 By gothic impulse In Humor
Is it just me, or do other people out there have to use guerilla tactics to beat everyone else in their house to the toilet?

In my house, they lie in wait for me. They can all be comatose on the couch, staring blankly at the idiot box. But let me open
my bedroom door and it clicks a signal in someones brain ..an "OMG toilet" signal. As it is a shorter route to the bathroom from the lounge room, I am the one left standing outside the door with my eyes n legs crossed ... CURSING UNDER MY BREATH !!!

I have since learnt to use guerilla tactics. Open my bedroom door an inch ..eyeball the general area ....slowly open it further as i slink down onto my belly and army crawl across the area they can see. When i reach the safety of the wall ..jump up and run as fast as i can throught the family room and down the hall.

Sitting on the throne with the door locked and a big smile ...listening to whoevers turn it was to beat me, trying to extricate themself from the booby traps i had prepared earlier. The sheer joy and relief of actually getting to pee before my bladder reaches explosion point, followed by the sound of them cursing outside the door .........AHHH one of lifes wondrous experiences.

VICTORY IS MINE

Comments
on Apr 21, 2004
lmao.... get your rambo on!

Adios
on Apr 21, 2004
This is funny as shit (no pun intended)

Adios
on Apr 25, 2004
LMMFAO, i know exactly what you mean.
on May 13, 2004
You're not the only one. Thank god this apartment has two bathrooms.

-- B
on May 13, 2004
You're not the only one. Thank god this apartment has two bathrooms.

-- B
on May 13, 2004
Sounds JUST like my kitchen. None of us eat at the same time, nor do we eat the same thing, but GUARANTEED when the following occur:

Opening the pantry door
opening a cabinet
opening the fridge
the clanking of a pot hitting the stove
that clicking sound gas stoves make when you turn them on

ALL those who were NOT hungry 5 minutes prior (after double checking) will suddenly appear and they are STARVING!

Now I ALWAYS make sure there are dirty dishes in the sink. As soon as they come in I point to the sink, they leave.

Thank GOD I have my own bathroom !


on May 14, 2004
hahaha Winky

Don't even get me started on the kitchen OMG

Jess
on May 14, 2004
Shit, I can so relate to that, back when I lived with my parents that is, these days I've got my own toilet