Feeling Down

Just call me little miss misery

Published on May 17, 2004 By gothic impulse In Misc

I am sitting here doing the one thing I hate ..feeling sorry for myself.

I have the flu, I feel miserable, my Grandma is going into hospital on Thursday for heart surgery.
I know she is scared even though she won't admit it. We talked on the phone for a while this morning, I feel so helpless because the chances are i won't even be able to go and be there with her because I'm sick.

Thomas calls me " Sunshine " he says no matter how bad people are feeling I always know the right thing to say to make them feel better.
I'm not feeling much like sunshine at the moment. I don't know how to stop her being afraid, she is 87 years old.. all I know is I want to be there for her.

I miss Thomas, I miss my 2 sisters that moved to the other side of the country and took my niece "Jess's Little Angel" as she will proudly tell you.

I have to go to the doctor every day because they are worried I will get pneumonia. I am in my Grandma's words ..being a misery guts!

Wait ...
The mailman just came. I have a letter from Thomas, one from Jetroh (my little boy I sponsor in Zimbabwe) and one from my sis ..full of photos of my little angels 3rd birthday.

I can feel a little ray of sunshine starting to appear ...now if I can somehow manage to be there for my Grandma ..all will be good in my world again.

I just talked to my other 2 sisters ( yes there are 5 of us ) they are going to go and be there for Grandma, that makes me feel so much better!!

OMG .. I think I just managed a smile !!!

Jess

Comments

notsohighlyevolved

on May 17, 2004

A lot of light can get through the clouds if the light source is strong enough.

People are right for calling you sunshine.

I didn't notice all too much of you feeling sorry for yourself. It seems that you are more worried about others.

And never mistake missing the one's you love for self pity.

Hope everything works out ok.

notsohighlyevolved

on May 17, 2004

gothic impulse

on May 17, 2004

TY for your kind words and wishes.

I hope everything works out ok too. I'm trying to stay postive but sometimes it just gets too much.

Knowing there are people out there like you helps though.

I only allow myself one day of misery, so tomorrow I will be fine again, just worried

Jess

Cann1bal

on May 18, 2004

Okay Little Miss Misery... how about this one... grammy will be okay she was okay the last time too when you worried too much, and as for you, you will be right fine soon enough baby. I love you and you will always be my sunshine even if you are down a day or two. Even thought you are truely and amazing woman, you still deserve your down time just like the rest of us. Love you babygirl

Thomas

WiseFawn

on May 18, 2004

Oh, this is such a nice blog and commits! It sounds like you have a wonderful family! And I know there have been several times that you have picked up my spirits.

I'll be thinking of you and your grandmother. I hope your flu is getting better.

gothic impulse

on May 18, 2004

Aww TY WF.

I'm just worried ..hopefully by Friday I will be fine again, after her operation.

Yes I am lucky to have a wonderful family and I thank the powers that be everyday for that.

Jess

gothic impulse

on May 19, 2004

Thank you Thomas

You always know what to say to cheer me up

Jess

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