If you died tomorrow, what would you like to be remembered for? Would it be your wealth ..your wit ...your compassion ? What is the most important thing to you ...family ...business ...money ...power ? With what do you measure your success? This is something i have thought about and i know that I would like to be remembered as someone who cared ..someone who did what they could ( no matter how small ) to help others. "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent p...
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers. Anything we ...
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers. Anything we ...
No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times if folded in half repeatedly. The velocity of a male wombat's urine is twice that of a male human's. A gorilla can fart ten times louder than a human being. An ant will always fall over on it's right hand side when drunk. A rat can last longer without water than a camel. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! Donald Duck comics were banned from Fi...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Jess
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Jess
This is my rant ..so I'll bitch if I want to. Warning ..this is a RANT ..this article may offend. Disclamer ... this article in no way is directed at any true christians. I am heartily sick of the people who hide behind the church ....use it to excuse their bigotry and hatred. The pious, holier than thou attitude of these people when they are found wanting everyday in their own actions. People whose hearts are full of hatred, lack compassion and understanding. The ones wh...
The Creation In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day. On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day. On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring ...
The Creation In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day. On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day. On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring ...
Virus Warning If you receive an email entitled "Bad times," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone...
Is it just me? I am having a hard time trying to figure out why anyone would call their daughter Apple? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for unusual names ...BUT Apple ? Do people stop and realise what it is to go through life with a name like that? Like celebrity kids don't have enough problems. Jess
I reveived a call from the Make A Wish Foundation last year. A small boy's wish was to go Australia Zoo and Underwater World, could we help? The answer YES of course. We set aside a penthouse for a week, for him and his family ...the staff decorating it with balloons and filling the fridge with food. I contacted local businesses who were all more than willing to help out. With vouchers for meals, attractions and a free hire car for the week. Watching this family together, seeing the jo...
Damn how long do you have to be here to be part of the " in crowd" This isn't directed at the few nice people I have met. It is to the people who love you to comment on their blogs and sympathise with them but dont give a shit about commenting unless you are part of the " in crowd" You start to feel you belong ...talk about something close to you ...who replies ...hmm the nice people. Meanwhile the others are too busy kissing arse and sympathising about trivialities. These are ...
Thank you for your kind words and wishes. My Grandma came through her heart operation really well and she is going to be fine. Now I'm really smiling !! Jess
A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar -- a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice. The boyfr...